In their very own words, "IPCOD is a not-for-profit organization working to achieve greater acceptance and equity for Pagans at home, at work, and in every community."
Basically, May 2 is encouraged to be a day when pagans who are ready, are to share with others that they are pagan. The key word there is "ready." What I do like about this movement is that it's not about coming out of the broom closet is not taken lightly. They understand that doing so is a very complex issue and offer guidance on their website about the subject. The page offering a guide to coming out can be found here.
IPCOD lists their reasons for encouraging pagans to come out as this:
"There are benefits, personally and for our religious community as a whole, as more Pagans come out. Some of these benefits include the reduction of anxiety caused by living a double life and creating a climate of greater acceptance for all Pagans."
Why I Don't Wholeheartedly Agree With This Statement
Unfortunately there's also a lot that I don't like about this movement. Most of all, I find the entire thing far too simplistic.
If I came out, would I end this so called anxiety about living a double life? Sure, but what this website seems to minimize is the anxiety that you would be getting in it's place. One day you are considered normal by your family, friends, and significant other....once you've came out you just might become the span of Satan. Does that sound like all your anxiety is going to be gone?
For me the anxiety would increase tenfold. Not for myself but my children. If everyone I knew really discovered that I was a pagan what would they think of me as a mother? Would I risk losing my children? Would their friends treat them differently? Would they lose friends? This is why I stay in the broom closet with all but my closest family and friends. I do it for my children!
IPCOD does list the following as Risks of Coming Out
o Not everyone will be understanding or accepting.
o Some relationships may be permanently changed.
o In extreme cases, coming out may cause economic hardship or could have a negative impact on child custody cases.
What? Does this make coming out sound worth it to you? You may be tormented every day. You may lose friends and family. You may lose your job. And you may lose your children.
In this day and age, I would be better off coming out as a lesbian. It would be better received than that I'm a pagan. I understand that in order to make paganism better accepted more people do need to come out. You can't change the perception of paganism without doing so. However, as a mother, I'm not willing to martyr myself or my children!
One can argue however that by hiding who I truly am, I'm not teaching them to be true to themselves. I can certainly understand that point of view and I don't deny it. But their care, safety and well-being comes first. If I come out to the world as a pagan, I will no longer be putting my children first.
IPCOD states, "It's a day when individuals, deciding on their own terms, take a step that helps foster a society that truly does tolerate all religions."
Wait? All religions? I thought we were supposed to be creating a better acceptance of paganism? Now our coming out is somehow going to create people to accept Islam after 9/11, Scientology, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster?
I for one am not sure that I want all religions to be accepted. Should we tolerate the Extreme Muslims that encourage people to become suicide bombers or the Fundamental Right Christians that are trying to take away basic health care for women?
I know, I know. That's not what IPCOD means right?
I used to constantly advocate religious tolerance but there's a double edged sword there. What is the limit to what we are supposed to tolerate? If a religion is created that makes human sacrifice part of their ritual are we supposed to tolerate that? I know this is an extreme example but the more I see religions causing harm, the more I want to get rid of the idea of "religion" all together.
I know all of this is a very pessimistic view about what should be a very great thing. Having this opinion certainly won't get me any fans and may even piss some people off. I do believe it will be a great thing...eventually. I just think in the world today we have bigger priorities. Basic human rights are being taken away. I think out priority right now should be fighting for our right to survive meaning we have decent jobs, healthy food, and great health care. Once we have those in place, then I feel we can start to work on being accepted for who we are.
What would be the point of people accepting that we are pagan if we are still destitute, hungry, and sick? The worst part is that IPCOD is honest and says these are the very things that could happen as a result of coming out! Doesn't that seem ass backwards?
I'm not saying International Pagan Coming Out Day isn't a good thing, a great thing even. But everything can't be solved in a day. Just as Earth Day has gotten backlash for being a movement that focuses on a day and not a lifetime of everyday choices, I see something similar going on here with International Pagan Coming Out Day. One day isn't going to fix thousands of years of intolerance.
Has the gay and lesbian community ended intolerance by declaring "I'm here! I'm queer! Deal with it?" It's happened very very gradually. I do think that us pagans are next. We are next on the list to gain acceptance. But it's not going to happen by assaulting the opposition with an "I'm here! I'm pagan! Deal with it!" attitude.
For me what has worked is letting my friends and family that know very gradually. First, I share my interest in astrology. Then maybe I express that I think God is a woman. Over time, I shared my interests with them and when they wouldn't get a shock to the system I admitted that I was a pagan and practiced witchcraft. Gradually has NEVER failed me!
Now when I said a version of, "I'm here! I'm pagan! Deal with it!" gaining acceptance failed EVERY single time.
It's also been a gradual process working up to the world. I started with my closest friends. Then told a few family members. Next a few more trusted friends. Over the years my circle of those that know has slowly but surely gotten bigger. I like it this way. I don't want the whole world to know at once. I wouldn't be able to handle that.
Most of all, I don't think coming out of the broom closet should be done because it's been turned into a damn holiday. It just cheapens it somehow for me. The time that is right is different for everyone. No one should circle a date on a calender and decide that should be the day that you come out. For me, then it's no longer a personal path. Spirituality and identity is no longer a personal journey. Coming out of the broom closest is one of the most personal experiences that you can have. No one should ever do it because of a date on the calender.
I know I'm supposed to write about how great a movement I think this is but we don't even tolerate each other in the pagan community! This is why we have the Pagan Enough movement. If we can't even tolerate each other, is it realistic that the rest of the world will?
I am sure I will get barraged with comments from people insisting that I am overly negative about International Pagan Coming Out Day and that an immense amount of good will come out of this movement. I hope it does. Sincerely I do. But at the same time if one person experiences harm because of this, then it isn't successful. Lives could become ruined because of this day. It's no exaggeration to say that people could even die because of this day. I hope the creators are willing to shoulder that kind of karma.
When we say we want acceptance as pagans, what exactly does that mean? When a person says the words "acceptance" and "tolerance" it can mean many different things to many different people? Do we want paganism to be accepted as a valid religion? Do we want respect? Do we want magick to be taken seriously? Do we want to have open conversations with people of other religions? Or do we simply mean that we want to be left alone and free to practice and believe what we want? Does it mean we have the same equal rights as other religions? No here on the IPCOD website did I find this explained.
After writing this post, I found an article at Patheon that brings the term "pagan" into question. The article is titled "Is It time for Pagans to Stop Being Pagan." It argues that "pagan" as an umbrella term fails to adequately describe what paganism is. We have such diverse practices and beliefs that the word "pagan" simply is not sufficient to describe what we all do. With such diversity under the term "pagan," is it reasonable to expect the world to understand what it is that we practice and gain this acceptance and tolerance that we strive for? I have spoken to so many people that practice paganism, Wicca, and witchcraft that would prefer to not be labeled at all.
I also took issue with the fact that IPCOD said the difference between them and Pagan Pride is"that Pagan Pride is for people who are already out of the closet and headed for the front door." Really? That seems pretty inaccurate to me. When I looked up Pagan Pride it was said that it's "Pagan Pride is a movement among the American Neopagan community to provide a positive public image of Neopagans and Neopaganism." The fact that IPCOD defined Pagan Pride their own way left a very bad taste in my mouth. It sounds to me that they have the exact same goals. And what the heck is meant by "headed for the front door?"
Are they the ones chanting "We're here. We're pagan! Deal with it!"?
